Helping you get better at being YOU one step per Time! 

The Ladies' Couch with Mary KOBAH-Koate

Matters of the Heart

What's your heart's stance on situations? What do you really believe when no one can see or hear? Not just what you say but those beliefs that's have gained ground in You heart and are influencing the situation around you?

In this episode, I bring your attention to actually check what you've believed so far, the realities and effects of it.

The Real Wealth; People!

There's a self isolation theory subtly flying around, making it look like human relationships aren't important. Truth be told, people, human relationships are an integral part of existence. Don't joke with it. Invest in people.

The Farce of Social media Posts

Ever heard someone say "I'm very different from what I post, I don't even believe or fancy them. All na cruise". Well, that's totally not true and it's exactly what is talked about on this episode...

ENVIRONMENT & RELATIONSHIPS 

We all have been influenced by the various environments we've interacted with from birth till certain ages, and most of us are still being influenced. When about to go into or already in a relationship with a person do not rule out their environment and how it has influenced them because this makes up a core of their ideologies.

Shun Isolation...Get a community. 

There's a subtle belief or perspective that being isolated is safer than getting involved and building relationships. Social Capital is an asset, being part of a community has its Perks. Humans were not created to be in Isolation...

OFFENSE 

Agree, people will always offend you,that's life. It's how you choose to respond to it that matters. Since offense cannot be eradicated from human existence, we should therefore have premeditated responses for when the offense finally happens. I shared few tips on this episode.

Intentional Memories 

It's the season to be jolly and one amazing thing to d as we go through this season is to be intentional about the memories we want to create. Who do we want to be with and How do we wanna celebrate. Do well also to capture these moment.

Love Unfickle... 

God's Love for us is a constant in our lives. His love for You isn't fickle, He's consistent in loving you, loyal in loving you irrespective of your state; What you have and don't have, what you've done, you're doing or will do. He Loved you even before You knew Him.

Staying Power. 

Tenacity is great strength. The ability to stay on one thing, grow yourself and knowledge in a particular area tends to distinguish you from the crowd especially in an Era of mediocrity. However, people tend to give up easily when they see that their efforts are seemingly not birthing fast and immediate result.

Perks of Mentorship 

Mentorship is one avenue that has been created to shorten time on paths of individuals. In many of life's endeavors, it's easier when you climb on the shoulders of people who have gone ahead of you. In our Nigeria parlance, it's said "Follow who know road"

Glorifying Pain... 

Our society has allowed pain to be subtly glorified and accommodated in our daily lives and affairs. "Everybody has certain level of pain or suffering they are going through so you should be 'grateful' that yours is 'small'". Pain isn't something that we should be comfortable with and we shouldn't have to suffer before getting things. Our society has just painted wrong pictures and in this Episode, I pulled down those pictures. Listen!

Much More than PACKAGING 

Packaging is so important in every area, the way we present this things and people that have been given to us. However, there should be more beyond the 'packaging', the content should be much more valuable.

The Farce of Perfection 

Hey, take it a step or steps at a time, enjoy each moment and phase, relish every relationship and treasure each season. Stop waiting for the perfect time, or season.

Honor and Opinions

Firstly, If there are people you submit to, which I believe you should, then it's an act of honor on your part to seek their opinions when making major life changing decisions. Secondly, Honor the opinions and boundaries of other people even if you do not agree with them.

Honor and Giving. 

I once heard, " You love with your heart but you Honor with your Substance". One way of showing honor is by giving to those we honor. From intangible gifts of our time which money can't buy to tangible gifts that money can. Don't visit a person you honour without taking something in your hands for them, no matter how 'little'

HONOR AND PEOPLE

Many years ago, I heard "We don't treat people with honor just because they are honorable or deserving of Honor, we treat people with Honor because WE in OURSELVES are Honorable people". It has never left me since then.

Honor; a language of Kings. 

Honor is such a vital trait in every human. We should have Honor for people, irrespective of age, class, race and differences. We should have Honor for things, tangible or intangibles,and importantly too, we should have honor for ourselves. On this series, I'd be taking us on various phases of Honor.

Past Digging. 

Bringing up the past of a person at every given opportunity when there's an issue isn't necessary. Change is a process and most people are sincerely going through it. Be the voice of upliftment to them even if/when they fall again. Give the opportunity to actually change.

The Good Old-school

Some things might be "Old-school" but still make the core of our personalities and makes us standout in the crowd. Let's not lose the attributes in us that makes those around us and our society better.

Invalid Excuses. 

There would always be legit reasons why we shouldn't step out and do those things we've got in our hearts to do. We can make all the excuse we want, however, those excuses would hold us in a place. Take courage. Step out. Drown the excuses!

Respecting Choices. 

The choices of others should be respected even when we do not agree with those choices. Not everyone would follow or thread same path as you, we should however learn to cover people with love and support "The Person" irrespective of the choices they've made. Be there for them.

Know what works for You 

Routines are good. Know what goes well with you, gives you stability and helps your achieve daily goals and confidence is important. Knowing exactly what works for you makes life easier for you!

It's Okay not to be Okay. 

When most people are down, they often box their feelings of sadness or disappointments and just act fine even when there's no need to act it. It's okay not to be Okay, it's okay to have down feelings however, what's not okay is wallowing in them.

BREAKING INTO NEW CIRCLES II

For every relationship, every group, every setting, there are rules and etiquettes that are expected from those within that circle. You have to know the rules and ascertain if you can meet up to them.

Breaking Into New Circles. 

Life brings us opportunities where we'd have to break into circles, create new relationships, and become part of new groups. This episode talks about what is expected of us as we try to become part of these circles.

Empathy. 

In this Era of "Wokeness" and "Savage" responses, it seems empathy is on the low. We've been called to go around with gracious words. Before saying words to people, do put your self in their places, understand them and their situations, then weigh if your words are seasoned with grace enough before letting them out.

ENVORONS

Our environment influences us greatly therefore, we have to be deliberate about the environment we find ourselves in and create for ourselves. Do not be afraid to unlearn and relearn things that do not suit you and your purpose.

Resistance 

We've heard that the mind is a battlefield but we often forget that we are in a battle to retain the right thoughts and resist the foul and untrue ones. Any thought that isn't in line with your Blood-bought reality must be resisted and it's your place to consistently and vehemently wear out those thoughts and it's minions.

Perfection

Most times, we are so fixated on us, situations, circumstances, and people around us being perfect before stepping out. However, it's in stepping out we attain perfection.

Burning Bridges. 

It's often said, "It's a small world". We might get hurt or feel cheated in some way by a person or an organization and may be tempted to hurt them while severing our relationship with them. However, when we get to the point of "Burning bridges", let's try not to burn the person or people along.

Decisions. 

Everything we want, need or demand from life would demand us to make decisions. Therefore, we need to know what exactly we want from life and then make decisions that align with it. When those decisions are made, be disciplined enough to go through and stand by it.

Growth. 

Everything life throws at you is an opportunity for growth. Every challenge and victory is an opportunity for growth. Growth happens and we get to a point where we get intentional about our growth.

Entitlement. 

To be entitled means to have a right over something. Often people feel entitled to actions and opinions in the lives of others even when they do not have the rights to. By observation, know your place in a person's life and respect their boundaries.

Words and Pictures. 

Just like we say a picture is worth a thousand words so also can words create many pictures. Words and Pictures work hand in hand, you've got to be deliberate about your word cause they form your pictures and You've got to be deliberate about the pictures you see because they'd form your words.

Consequences. 

When we hear the word "Consequence" people often tilt towards the negative, however, every action we take has a resultant consequences which could be negative or positive. Therefore, before you take this decisions, think through the possible consequence(s).

Give Yourself some accolades. 

It's so easy to celebrate people, but most people find it hard to celebrate themselves and their wins. It takes a conscious and deliberate effort. As much as you can, acknowledge your growth and achievement.

FITTING IN

Why 'FIT IN' when you can stand out? Why try to force your seat at a table when You can own Yours?. Self confidence is quite attractive and those who wield it tend to be attractive as well!

Thin line between Patience and Laziness. 

Most people often mistaken Laziness for Patience. They have desires and dreams but refuse to participate in the process of making them a reality. Patience is a virtue, Laziness is a vice.

Dear Church Girl: Only God sees the heart, MEN DON'T! 

Yes, God owns the world however he works through Men to achieve His aims and purpose upon the earth. Dear Church Girl, only God sees Your heart, Men do not. So You must put excellence into the things that men see and can relate with. You looks, Speech, Carriage and so on!

Dear Church Girl: Prayer, indeed, is the Master Key. 

When we pray, we are sure things change! Prayer is that Powerful. In Prayer we get the strategies, we set our intentions right, we superimpose God's will on situation, we do valiantly in the place of Prayer. Do not underestimate the Power You wield while you Pray!

Dear Church Girl: Know who You are. 

Place premium on yourself. You are worth the very blood of Christ and You God in His Fullness. Imagine the power you posses!

Dear Church Girl: Know Whose You Are! 

Has Your parent ever used the phrase "Know/remember whose child you are"? I guess so. Because that knowledge is a major factor when You are faced with major life decisions. On this series, Dear Church Girl, Do you know whose child You are?

Thriving Under Pressure 

When faced with challenges, often times we tend to give up and throw in the towel. However, challenges can produces grit and strength if we choose to go through them and succeed.

Asking for Help! 

We all need Help in one way or another. We need people's support. Most people believe they can do it alone, but it's easier with the right help at hand. As much as You can, ask for help in areas where you need them!

Leveraging On Relationships

People come into your life for reasons and one of this reason is collaborations. Make use of those within your circle to achieve the dreams and visions in your heart.

Why Serve what You can't eat? 

Double standards has been ringing in my head lately! Why do people ask for what they cannot give, Set rules that they can't keep and make demands that they themselves cannot live up to? If You know you cannot take something from others, then be prudent not to dish out the same to them. Live within the standards you've set!

It still begins with You! 

New Year resolutions, goals, targets and all begins first with You. Your Purpose, values, virtues dreams and aspirations. It's okay to continue with goals unfinished in 2021. Don't give up on them cause the year ended. Focus is a great virtue!

Ask The KOBAHS 

On this episode, we gave answers to questions You asked! There are Gems hidden in this Episode! Raw and Unedited.

Keep the Love! 

It's the season of Love and Joy!, and a season to keep the Love we have for people going! It might not be easy but we've been called to it! Make every moment you spend with those you love count this season. You'd be glad and grateful for the memories!

PROCESSES 

For us to attain those dreams and pictures, we need to give ourselves to the processes that come with them. These processes are what molds us into being able to handle the tangible realities of our dreams.

Focus 

Life punishes the timid and rewards the bold. One sure way of being bold is the Focus you give to those desires or goals you have. Stay with them, give it all you've got. You'd be glad you did!

LEVERAGING ON EXPERIENCES. 

Yes, it's good to experience things, but you don't have enough time to have all the experiences of life hence, we leverage on the experiences of others to help us in Life's Journey.

Relationship is Work 

The Media makes it look like having and being in a relationship is a walk in the park. However, being in a relationship is quite demanding and it's well worth it!

TRANSITIONS 

Transitions can be overwhelming!, and we rarely talk about the emotions we feel as we go through new phases. We find ourselves going through new phases without taking time out to process how we feel. In this Episode, we talk about how talking, sharing and checking up on our loved ones can help.

Learn. unLEARN. reLEARN. 

As we advance in life, changes occur. Light is shed and new truths are revealed. It's therefore necessary to open our minds up to the possibilities of Learning , unlearning and relearning.

Few Media Etiquettes 

Yes, it's the 21st century and most things are going "woke", however, one should maintain etiquettes and values even on the various Social Media Platforms.

When Life Happens. 

What do you do when Life hits hard? When it questions everything you believe in and hold true. Do you sit and it it drown you, or do you rise and answer back at it?.

Friends in Seasons💨

Most people feel guilty when certain friendships end. Life is in Seasons and these seasons bring people along. Appreciate them always even when their Season has ended.

The Waiting Period. 

We all have those "Quiet" seasons of life, where we are waiting for specific things to happen. Much more than those things happening, is what we do with those moments of WAITING.

VALID PICTURES. 

Your dreams are Valid. Your desires are valid. Those wonderful pictures you have are Valid. Don't let this world or the negative news flying around steal them from You. Keep them framed in YOUR heart.

Family, Friends and Others. 

Don't give Family and Friends benefits to Strangers and treat Strangers like family and friends. Give value to the valued relationships in your life.

Balancing Life as a Lady! 

24 hours seems hardly enough these days especially with the demands and responsibilities that comes with life. I'm honoured to be discussing with CYNTHIA MENE, on how we as women can create a balance in our lives despite this.

What Do Men Really Want?... and Other Questions! 

On this episode, we talked with the Men on some questions the Ladies need answers to.

The Journey So Far!!!! 

Thanks to You! 18 Countries... 1K+ Listens... 6 Platforms.... 66+ Hours of content... 53 Episodes... 1 YEAR OF THE LADIES'COUCH WITH MARY KOBAH-KOATE!!!! On this episode, I talked about The Journey So Far....

PAMPER YOURSELF!!! 

Ladies!!! We are guilty of often times putting ourselves at the end of the list and rather take care of every other thing and people. Hey, take a breather, Put premium on yourself and give yourself some Pampering!!!

Red Flags 2

I got a question last week on the previous episode " _Red flags are not to be ignored,Yes. But Love the Bible says ,covers a multitude of sins. Does this relates to red flags too?"_ 

Listen to my take on the continuation of RED FLAG.

Red Flags. 

Red Flags are not to be ignored. You can't change a person, even worse, is when the person doesn't see their faults. Don't go into a relationship with "Endurance or Management" mindset. Life is too short and days too long!

SCARS

Your Scars do not define YOU. Yes, they are a part of your story, but painful incidents are not meant to alter who you are. Stay true to you, not to your Scars.

Being Vulnerable Doesn't Make You Cheap! 

What exactly defines being cheap? Owning your personality and being open about your emotions and desires? That certainly doesn't sound like being "cheap". Vulnerability is a strength that's quite lacking this dispensation.

Being Vulnerable 

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, However, it is said that we cannot access through connection with others without being Vulnerable. Maybe, Just maybe, being Vulnerable is a strength after all!

What do YOU bring to the Table? 🤨

" What do you bring to the Table?", most people get infuriated by this question. Why though? If indeed you know you'd be bringing the very best and Value, there'd be no need to be pissed. Make efforts to give as much as you want to receive.

COMPARISON 

One thing that steals our peace, joy and self esteem is Comparison. You are not other people. We are all on different timelines. Stay on Your Lane and give your best!

Know Your Place. 

Being on the Centra Stage or working behind the scenes at the Back Stage are both Significant places. Know where you belong and own it. Not everyone is meant to be in the Spotlight.

ATTRACTING WHAT YOU WANT 

Dishonor the things You want is a subtle way of ensuring you never get those things. To attract what you want, you've got to place premium value on it.

Stay True to YOU. 

Nobody is Strong or Powerful enough to make you lose the amazing personality God has given/made You, hence don't give anybody that power. Them no reach!

Trading Fears.

Fears are real. The last thing you need is another person putting their fears on You, Resist it! Be confident in Yourself and Your dreams, don't let anyone trade their fears on You.

ASSUMPTIONS 

Assumptions tends to cost us alot and yet we don't pay much attention to it. Why stay in a state of assumption when You can directly ask questions and gain clarity regarding issues happening in Your life or around You? Get rid of Assumptions and ask Questions!

SMELL WELL! 

Hey, if they take away your perfumes and other deodorants, would You still Smell Well? On this episode, we delved into some ways to keep us Smelling Top Notch!

Beyond Yourself. 

We've been told, often times, to focus on Ourselves but, we ain't just individuals but have dear relationships that our decisions might affect. Often times we need to go beyond ourselves to put these dear ones in perspective!

WORDS...

Words ain't ordinary, they are quite tangible and they feed Us. What words are you surrounding yourself with?

You Measure Up!... you so do.... 

Why would you feel or even dare to say you don't measure up? Whose measuring line are you using? Who set the scale!?. Hey we all have those down moments, but never feel or look down on You!

BREATHE! 

It's quite easy to get caught up with life events. Trying our possible best to ensure all ends are thriving. But Hey, with all the bustle, take time out to Breathe!😉😘

Holding On 

Yes, it does get difficult at times but Hang in there, Hold On. God is more ambitious for You than you can ever be for yourself

Accepting Truths. 

For most, Truth and Honest criticism is a very hard pill to swallow. However, once these truths are accepted and given positive thoughts dispositions, it can birth an phenomenal growth in Us!

Forgive... Okay;but, Forget? How Possible? 💁

I'm sure you've heard of the phrase, that is, if you've not even been directly told, *"FORGIVE AND FORGET".* 
I've seen people succeed at the forgivness part, but feel guilty or bad because they cannot forget the hurt.

Is it really Possible to Forget? And should I feel bad for not being able to??

Having the Right Perspectives.... and maintaining it... 

There's currently so many information going around directing people on how to live and take life... In all, try to get the right perspectives regarding these issues and maintain them.

Doing Life Alone

You Need People, You Need love, You Need Support... Don't buy into the "You can do it on your own" message some are selling out. Don't try doing Life alone, it's a sad and Lonely path!

The Blame Game

Ever encountered a person who never owns up to faults? They'd rather put the blame on a situation, a person or circumstance.

We'd be talking about Why people engage in it and how to get out of it.

What will people say!!? 

People would always talk and have their opinions. Don't lose your Peace based on another person's opinion. Break Free from that mould of what people say!

Keep Hope Alive!!! 

They say, Life is often phases of Challenges. Most times, it seems as though walls are closing in on us, but Hey! Keep Hope Alive!

SETTLING 

There are loads of things that are "Good just the way they are" but are not Okay.

They could be better, way better, but just because they "Look Good", "Feel Good" and a whole lot of other goods, we decide to SETTLE, even when we know there's better...

Social Pressures 

There's so much more to You than meet the Eyes! And there's so much behind the things you see in the society. Don't stay or feel pressured. Go at Your Pace!

Staying Anchored! 

The World seems to be in short supply of some good virtues; Honour, love, integrity, selflessness, the list could go on and on. While growing Up, Mama and Poppsy had taught us the exact opposite, to live out lives expressing these great values. We stay Anchored to these primitive teachings and most importantly, on The Love of the Father!

Receive Compliments in Peace! 😏

Receiving compliments - especially from the Opposite sex, shouldn't be dramatic! Receive compliments nicely and give a warm reply as best as you can; Yes, with courtesy!

Stepping Out! 

We're currently in a world where people would rather stay shelled in a comfort Zone than step Out and face challenges.

Building Walls... 

Having been through hurts and painful experiences, some people tend to BUILD WALLS around their emotions and personalities in order to prevent such event from repetition.

Is this Okay or Not?

Seive Your Relationship

The gift of people is a Blessing, we shouldn't take it for granted. However, we have to know those important and vital people and Human relationships in our lives and to the best of our abilities give them the requisite energy, attention and love.

Fix The HURTINGS... 

Often Times, we tend to block out the feeling of hurt. And then create a wall around our emotions and disposition to people and events.

But Hey, there's a better way!

Ladies'Couch Special with Dr. KOBAH KOATE - New Year Resolutions ;OVERATED or NAH 

I'm honored to be Hosting Dr. KOBAH KOATE, on the Couch with me!

As we prepare for the coming year, We would FUNLY discuss on New Year Resolutions, and other stuff ranging from Business, to Entrepreneurship, and Faith.

IT'S A HOLIDAY; TAKE A CHILL!!! 

Compliments of the Season! 🧑‍🎄

It's a Season of Love, Laughter and Time with those we love!

It's Most important to create great memories with those we love while we have the chance!

On tomorrow's episode, we'd be talking about resting, enjoying the break and making the most of this Holiday!

The Farce of Social media Posts

The Ladies' Couch with Mary KOBAH-Koate

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